Friday 6 November 2009
Tuesday 3 November 2009
Why Do Men Cheat?
Why Do Men Cheat?
Fantastic question, But who can answer that question? Of course we Men have our different reason's why we do and don't.
I will share my views with you on the subject. But please remember that this is my views not the gospel truth. And your comments is very much appreciated.
Men cheat for all sorts of reasons, sometimes it is simply because they can do it, or the opportunity is available. But cheating is done primarily by three types of men: those with low self esteem, those who are unhappy at home and those who are afraid of commitment and are seeking 'fun'.
Low Self Esteem Overall, cheating is done by men with mixed, conflicting or weak values. They are not firm in their commitment, in their identity of who they wish to be, neither are they sure of what they really want in life. They tend to have low self-esteem and a lack of trust in others. No matter how 'good' or faithful the partner is, having one woman is not enough. There is always someone better outside. Perhaps being deprived of expressive love when they were younger, particularly from their mothers, there is always a doubt in their minds as to how worthy they are to women. Add to that, the competitive nature of their world, where they are always trying to impress their peers, and the usual answer is also to try to impress as many women as they can to uplift their feelings of self worth,regardless of the quality of life at home. But that merely causes heartache for the chosen women, while reinforcing the men's low self-esteem as 'bad' guys or 'bastards' in a never-ending circle.
Friends play a huge part also. Having been known as a player or someone who's always attracted girls. You're expected to perform and be at the top of your game.
Ultimately it is the said man who will end up in a love triangle and left to pick up the pieces.
Unhappy Men Married men, and those in long term relationships, cheat mainly because they believe that having a short-term affair will temporarily resolve any problems they have at home and prevent them from 'hurting' anyone long term. The fact that their partner is already being hurt by their lack of attention and affection - and being prevented from finding love too - does not seem to come into the picture. There are three problems with this approach. First, it stops the major conflicts in the relationship being acknowledged, explored and addressed. Second, it makes the situation worse because any liaison only proves starkly what is already missing at home, especially sexually. Thirdly, it deliberately ignores the fact that the man is taking his affections elsewhere which begs the question: How does giving one's self to someone else shows love and affection for the person left at home and, above all, accord her due respect for her love and support?
Men in relationships stray through a conflict of perception. What their women perceive that men want from them might not be necessarily what those men actually desire, and women seldom seek to find out because they are afraid of the answers! So after the honeymoon period is over, when their heartfelt desires haven't been fulfilled, spouses soon seek it elsewhere. In the meantime the women who are affected turn on the men and blame them for their 'bad' behaviour instead of looking into themselves to see where they have missed a connection and, at worse, getting out of their demoralising situation. It is always easier to vilify others because it stops us looking at ourselves, Each person is responsible for their lives. It is fear which keeps them stuck while they wait in vain for the men to change.
Fearing Commitment The next major group of 'cheating' men are the ones who fear commitment. They want a 'secure' home, with all the trimmings, one they can return to at the end of the day, but they do not like to perceive themselves as 'married' or long term partners, stuck to one person. They like to keep their options open and so they seek 'fun', which carries the implication that marriage, or being in a relationship, is 'serious' business so one has to get the fun outside!
Men (at least most of them) are highly sexually driven. They're made that way,and for that reason are constantly looking out for potential sleeping partners.
Example!! Walking down the street and a guy stop you and say, Hey!!You look like a great girl and i think you'll make a wonderful wife. How can you assume such a thing?
my point is, he is talking to you because he is trying it. bottom line. Maybe after a few dates, he may well change his intentions and see your true potential of been a wife, but from the word go he was thinkg sex.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3DvMjGd0HA
Fantastic question, But who can answer that question? Of course we Men have our different reason's why we do and don't.
I will share my views with you on the subject. But please remember that this is my views not the gospel truth. And your comments is very much appreciated.
Men cheat for all sorts of reasons, sometimes it is simply because they can do it, or the opportunity is available. But cheating is done primarily by three types of men: those with low self esteem, those who are unhappy at home and those who are afraid of commitment and are seeking 'fun'.
Low Self Esteem Overall, cheating is done by men with mixed, conflicting or weak values. They are not firm in their commitment, in their identity of who they wish to be, neither are they sure of what they really want in life. They tend to have low self-esteem and a lack of trust in others. No matter how 'good' or faithful the partner is, having one woman is not enough. There is always someone better outside. Perhaps being deprived of expressive love when they were younger, particularly from their mothers, there is always a doubt in their minds as to how worthy they are to women. Add to that, the competitive nature of their world, where they are always trying to impress their peers, and the usual answer is also to try to impress as many women as they can to uplift their feelings of self worth,regardless of the quality of life at home. But that merely causes heartache for the chosen women, while reinforcing the men's low self-esteem as 'bad' guys or 'bastards' in a never-ending circle.
Friends play a huge part also. Having been known as a player or someone who's always attracted girls. You're expected to perform and be at the top of your game.
Ultimately it is the said man who will end up in a love triangle and left to pick up the pieces.
Unhappy Men Married men, and those in long term relationships, cheat mainly because they believe that having a short-term affair will temporarily resolve any problems they have at home and prevent them from 'hurting' anyone long term. The fact that their partner is already being hurt by their lack of attention and affection - and being prevented from finding love too - does not seem to come into the picture. There are three problems with this approach. First, it stops the major conflicts in the relationship being acknowledged, explored and addressed. Second, it makes the situation worse because any liaison only proves starkly what is already missing at home, especially sexually. Thirdly, it deliberately ignores the fact that the man is taking his affections elsewhere which begs the question: How does giving one's self to someone else shows love and affection for the person left at home and, above all, accord her due respect for her love and support?
Men in relationships stray through a conflict of perception. What their women perceive that men want from them might not be necessarily what those men actually desire, and women seldom seek to find out because they are afraid of the answers! So after the honeymoon period is over, when their heartfelt desires haven't been fulfilled, spouses soon seek it elsewhere. In the meantime the women who are affected turn on the men and blame them for their 'bad' behaviour instead of looking into themselves to see where they have missed a connection and, at worse, getting out of their demoralising situation. It is always easier to vilify others because it stops us looking at ourselves, Each person is responsible for their lives. It is fear which keeps them stuck while they wait in vain for the men to change.
Fearing Commitment The next major group of 'cheating' men are the ones who fear commitment. They want a 'secure' home, with all the trimmings, one they can return to at the end of the day, but they do not like to perceive themselves as 'married' or long term partners, stuck to one person. They like to keep their options open and so they seek 'fun', which carries the implication that marriage, or being in a relationship, is 'serious' business so one has to get the fun outside!
Men (at least most of them) are highly sexually driven. They're made that way,and for that reason are constantly looking out for potential sleeping partners.
Example!! Walking down the street and a guy stop you and say, Hey!!You look like a great girl and i think you'll make a wonderful wife. How can you assume such a thing?
my point is, he is talking to you because he is trying it. bottom line. Maybe after a few dates, he may well change his intentions and see your true potential of been a wife, but from the word go he was thinkg sex.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3DvMjGd0HA
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